The Balancing Act - A Blog by A Canadian Muslim Mom

Next time I'll fly WestJet

So we're in Calgary and it's wonderful.  Visiting my in-laws is always a blast and we are fully enjoying the beautiful weather, company and scenery the city has to offer. Unfortunately, our trip got off to a rocky start when we arrived at Pearson airport yesterday morning.

We were in excellent spirits. It was our first flight as a family of five, and were excited to take our Baby on her first trip to Calgary.  We were directed by the Air Canada agent to retrieve our boarding passes at the self-serve kiosks.  After this didn't work, we lined up to check in with a real person.  The agent behind the desk asked for our ID's, and proceeded to type our info into the computer.

Suddenly, as she typed in my confirmation number, her hand went to her chest and she exclaimed "Oh My God!". She looked at me suspiciously, and asked me - only me not my husband or any of my kids - for my passport. I said I didn't have it and reiterated that I had my driver's licence and other forms of ID that a domestic flight check-in required.

"Oh." she replied.  She then grabbed the phone and started whispering furtively while I watched. I heard her muttering my birthday and it clicked! Once again, for the fourth time, I was the victim of racial profiling while traveling because I'm a Muslim!  I couldn't keep my mouth shut, and I exclaimed "Oh - did my name turn up on SOME LIST BECAUSE OF MY ETHNICITY!"  At this point, I am shouting and very emotional (please note that 3 weeks after 9/11 I was removed from an Air Canada flight because I was "suspicious" and then in September 2005, I missed a friend's wedding because once again, I triggered a high-alert security check).

After some more whispering and secretive typing, the agent in question grudgingly gave me a boarding pass.  Before she handed it to me she said, "You should calm down. I don't know why you're angry with me - be angry with Air Canada."  Listen, woman, right now you are the face of Air Canada and the voice of their offensive policies.  I hope you read this.

The icing on the cake was when we reached the gate and I realised they had no seat for me.  My husband and kids were all seated together, and I, horrifying threat to society that I am, was seated in the very back, shoved against a wall with my infant. 

Aqeeqah: Shaving Baby's Head

My Baby is now four months! How time flies.   A couple of weeks ago, we shaved Baby's head.  This ritual is part of a Muslim tradition called the "Aqeeqah" and symbolizes a purification and sacrifice.  Ahmed Kutty,  a senior Islamic scholar at the Islamic Institute of Toronto gives the following explanation of the ritual:

"Aqeeqah involves sacrificing a goat or lamb on behalf of the child. It is giving thanks to Allah for the gift of a child. The meat is [then] distributed to the poor.  It is recommended that, on the day of aqeeqah, the child is given a good name, his/her head is shaved, and his/her hair is weighed and the equivalent in money of its weight in gold is given in charity. If, for any reason, Aqeeqah cannot be done on the seventh day, it can be done on the fourteenth, twenty-first or whenever possible. However, it should not be unnecessarily delayed."

We waited to do it until we felt the Baby was a little less fragile.  My brother removed the hair with hair clippers.  For the donation of meat to a charitable organisation, we had our relatives do that in India.

Here's a pic of Baby with hair:

And now one of her without!  It took me a while to get used to Baby's new look but now, I think she carries off  "bald chic" particularly well!

The interesting thing about this is that the more I talk to people about this ritual, the more I realize that it's common in many cultures.  Apparently it's done in Korea, Greece, and in Central America.  Another benefit of shaving a baby's head (I've come to realise this from my other kids) is that the new hair comes in fuller and more even.   

It's all Greek to Me

I moved to East York a few years ago, and it's definitely now become my "home".  One of the great things about having lived in different Toronto neighbourhoods is that once you've lived in a 'hood, you "own" that place.  By "owning" it, I mean, it becomes part of your "intimate" circle of destinations that, like your close friends and family, tie you to a city.   Here's a few of the faves from my inner circle of Toronto shops and restos.

While I was in law school, I lived at Bay and Bloor.  From that time, I feel a close kinship with the Manulife Center (Holt Renfrew, Indigo and the Varsity theatres in one building!) and all the lovely shops along Bloor St.  I know them like the back of my hand and feel totally at home strolling around that fun part of town. 

From my early married days in Cabbagetown, I hold with me a love of Daniel & Daniel, an amazing gourmet food store at the corner of Carlton and Parliament - when were were newlyweds, my husband and I would treat ourselves to D&D's delicious buttery croissants on Sunday mornings, the perfect accompaniment to the New York Times.

Another Cabbagetown fave is St. Jamestown Steak & Chops, where the butcher, Mark, is now a friend.  Check out this shop for triple-A beef, fresh Ontario poultry and lamb and an amazing assortment of Ontario fruit and vegetables.

Right now, I'm becoming an expert on some things Greek.  For example,  the most delicious Greek food (in my humble opinion) can be found at Pantheon Restaurant on the Danforth.  The amazing family-oriented ambiance and their tolerance of my young kids makes that place a definite fave.  The taramasalata, my favourite dip for pitas made from pureed fish, is fantastic there - and often all I order because I love it so much!

Down the road, Athens Pastries has the most divine spanakopita, that is even more delicious with a café frappé, made in a true Euro style with Nestle coffee and carnation milk on ice.  For baklava, another decadent indulgence that I adore, my favourite Greek bakery is Serrano bakery on Pape avenue.